I am not the kind of guy really to love one girl and at the same time set my eyes on someone else - that would make me shallow as a person to think like that.I really want to love this special girl that God has for me with all my heart - and if that means waiting for her to be ready for me emotionally, I will. And I know I am waiting all this while for a greater reward - that my father would give me the girl of my life, I want to stay single as I was all the while, till she comes into my life. But first and until then, deep down inside, there is the Spirit which tells me to love God for who He really is first.
There are several priorities that love should be hinged upon if all you want to do is to trust in God's sight for the one woman or guy that will have your heart forever.Here are some general points of guidance I have thought of that would drive you closer to the guy or girl God has specially prepared for you!,
Patience for a relationship- Love is Patient
What I see as a good indicator of a patient guy or girl is that - he or she would not even try to rush into a relationship that could actually prevent the guy or girl that God has intended for each other to come together. We have to understand that it should be 'nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done'.When we place our own interests above the direction and plans that God has for us, then we may never experience the right lover that God can give us if we choose not to be patient. So, do not rush into looking for that 'special someone', who knows that person is already in your life, just that it is not in God's time that he or she should be ready to be revealed to us. Jesus knew and didn't have to consider that following God in obedience through His will was the only way it was going to work out- just like we should too.
Love the truth as the Truth-
All of us have an idealistic and realistic expectations of a partner that we look for in his or her character.However humane we might possibly be, sometimes the expectations that a partner has for his spouse gradually unfolds to a standard that he or she must meet instead. When this happens, then we must understand that it is not love anymore, but rather a selfish advantage taken in truthless love.In fact the disciples of Jesus were not chosen based on any physical or intellectual criteria at all, but rather they were just normal fishermen who fished for a living. So what made Jesus choose Simon, Andrew, James and John over other men better qualified to take up their position?. It is the hearts of these fishermen that He looked into. He knew that as much as there were weaknesses in all of them - their hearts on the inside were good and right. And if He were to choose them even with their imperfections, it really shows that He knows that they have the capacity and ability to change,- to grow. On the same token, we must understand our partners the same way Jesus saw His -to be disciples, present on both the flaws and goodness of each.
It's hard to put feelings aside- knowing that love somehow, is always about that 'feeling'-
For the most part that should govern our feelings towards a potential lover, everything in fact lies in our emotional response- or how we choose to control and let it affect our feelings. If a guy or girl gave you a sweet compliment or tell you how beatiful/handsome you looked - surely for that day, it felt so good and fuzzy! But love in all cases, will not work through feelings alone. Feelings are like as compared to the description found in Isiah 40:39,6-7 -
'All flesh is grass. And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, Because the breath of the Lord blows upon it;',
There is no other description which i know of that speaks so clearly about human feelings the way this passage reveals to our hearts. Love is like a blooming flower then, eventually it (the feeling) withers - the only thing we can do is to allow the plant enough water and light(the responsibilities) to make it flower the next spring. Water is what we give willingly to each other, be it time, resources and service which all contribute in keeping the plant moist and refreshed. Love is never a stage where we reach permanence. Love is a sustained and endured process. This is why it is duly important for a man to keep his lover in pursuit,and it's equally important for a man to know his wife needs to be courted daily in sweet words, gifts and affection - and this in itself, never ends.
Every man needs to know that eventually the 'sweet feeling' would diminish and this is often when his attention starts to wander off - and most relationships tend to fade off at this point. Even before deciding over a relationship, one must already consider getting past the 'obsession stage' where everything seems so perfect with our significant other. Remember, it is not the feeling that we should be looking for primarily in our partners - we should get beyond the blissful feelings and really survey to consider what are some of his or her positive and negative traits we find should be given significance over the relationship.
When we find ourselves loving as a responsibility instead, the rewards are truly amazing! Listen to what Ephesians 5:1-2 had to say about the fufillments that we encounter when we treat love as a responsibility-
'Therefore be followers of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.'
We understand alot about how love works in the context of walking in love, as the book of ephesian states it. 'Love works when we walk in Love'. And the great satisfaction out of loving others as much as we love ourselves is the 'sweet-smelling aroma' that God promises us. Loving others is never difficult at all once we know what it fills our hearts with! - the Peace of God that surpasses all understanding and the Holy Spirit of Love that fills our heart to the overflowing!. Talk about getting loved in return!.
And once we have come to grips with working in 'loving duty', we can begin to imagine how it would impact us spiritually and emotionally!
If we did that,then Iove matures into what I call 'Sensible love'
sensible love is really what it is - knowing that our partner's love is limited through time and emotional availability. Love cannot expendably fill up every crevice and nook that our partner might require (or desire) from us. God made human love limited so that we would come to rely and acknowledge His love inclusively in every area of a relationship.
He wants us not to lose our 'first love', the way He had described to John of Patmos in Revelations 2:4 referring to the Church of Ephesus;
'Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.'
God wants each and every one us, to completely surrender and yield our very attention unto Him. This is to be so even for couples who spend more time thinking about each other than devoting time pleasing God! So then, we should always consider God as always more than, not less than or just plain 'maybe'. Placing Him in perspective leads us to acheive a greater state of love which never fails, lovingly.
God is indeed jealous for our hearts, for He loved us from the very beginning. And He wants us to know not to rely and to trust in the fickle human love we might try to see as more real and attractive- but to understand that when we trust in His never failing love, our love on this earth can indeed be built to endure,- in His.
and I think- God made pink for the girls because He loved them very much!